To My Future Husband

Dear Future Husband,

I have not met you yet. But, I want you to be keenly aware that my love for you is endless. Yes. I don’t know your name. Or for that matter, what my last name will be after we wed. But, I wholeheartedly love you. My love for you does not originate from the idea of you being perfect or because I foresee us living a drama-free life together. My love for you is a direct result of my love for another man… Jesus Christ.

You see before my relationship with Christ became exclusive, I would’ve never of been the woman strong enough to love you as you will need. I was broken. Full of ugly lies spoken to me from our great enemy and casting all my pearls to the swine. I would’ve been no match for the man I seek to love. A man full of integrity and strength, but doesn’t take life too seriously- like my father. A man that fell in love at a very tender age yet loved his wife even beyond the grave- like my grandfather. A man that can light up a room and make all your anger towards him melt away with one silly joke- like my older brother. A man that doesn’t have the need to always be “in” with the “in” crowd, but finds comfort in being different- like my younger cousin. I want to marry this combination of a man.

But, for a long time, I would’ve been no counterpart for you. I would’ve been a mass too heavy for you to elevate because I was weighed down by low self-worth, a desire to please everyone, a need to be accepted by even the worst… I would’ve been no wife for you and no mother for our children. I would’ve been jealous and needing your approval at all times. “Whose that texting you?!” Yep. That would’ve been me. I would’ve been seeking more out of life to fulfill my endless search for self-actualization because nothing would’ve kept me content.  Not even you. I would’ve spiraled into a deep ocean of depression with you as my only hope of rescue as I cling to you for salvation-meanwhile, drowning us both. I would’ve made you pay the ransom for all the men I had let into my heart because I wouldn’t of waited for your arrival. Nope. Those men would’ve left the bill. But, I would’ve depended on you to pay.You would've had to be my savior. A position with duties that you will never be able to fulfill.

But, by the immeasurable grace of God, I have learned to love you. And, I still am learning. Every day. No, I don’t own a copy of your biography. I’m not sure where you went to school or how you treat your mother. I am cultivating my love for you from reading a love letter written to me… Not a 4-page letter… A 66-book love letter written directly to me from the best lover of all time. God. And this letter is what others may call The Bible.

I know it may seem strange that I’m learning to love you from another man’s inscription. But, darling, this love letter is molding me into the woman you need, just as Adam needed Eve and Abraham needed Sarah. Our relationship will not be perfect, just like the before mentioned couples. But, it will be ordained just as theirs. Because without Eve, Adam would’ve never been able to experience the illustrious redemption given by God’s undeserved grace that is only offered to those lost seeking to be found. Just as we will have to experience for our marriage to last. And, even though Sarah sent her husband to sleep with the handmaiden, Abraham would’ve never encountered the strength of God’s promise- the promise that lasted through their mess-ups and mishaps. Just as we will have to encounter one day.

This love letter is the best thing that has happened to us. It is the foundation for which we will have to stand… regardless of the rough weather, scary situations, and weary moments. The words “I love you” will flow from my lips to your ears one day and I will mean it with every fiber of my being. But, that is only because I, myself, have encountered the divine definition of love through God’s love shown through His undeniably flawless Son, Jesus Christ, on the cross.

So, I’m here. And, you’re there. But, one day, we will be “us” together. I choose to be the beautiful bride that you long for- not because of my outward appearance. But, because of the inward radiance shining through me from The Father of Light. And, as I continually submit myself to the love of Christ, I am preparing myself for your grand entrance into my life. As you love me as Christ loved the church and I humbly submit myself to your covering, we will be a light for others to see. Not because we are anything special, because we are nothing but filthy rags. We will be a light for others to see because the true definition of love will be the glue that will keep us together even when we try our best to dislodge ourselves.

So, my future lover, best friend, and the God-given father of my future children, I love you. Everyday that I choose to wait for you patiently, I display this love. And, one day, you will have the profound privilege of experiencing it- just as I will experience yours.

Thank you for being obedient to The Lover of our Souls as we, in the near or distant future, embark on this journey together.

Love,

Your Future Wife