Now, I know what I am getting myself into here with this blog. Not everyone will agree with it. I’m okay with that. Not everyone will appreciate it. I’m okay with that. Not everyone will learn from it. I’m okay with that. I’m still going to write and post it because regardless if you believe it or not, it’s my truth. May not be yours. But, it’s mine.
Tell me. What were you expecting this blog to be about? No. Wait. I know… Well, get your mind out of the gutter. It’s about something else. J So, what is this forbidden word that I speak of in the title?
SUBMISSION.
(*waits for readers to throw tomatoes)
Ephesians 5:22-24 says, “ Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
I feel so bad because “submission” has gotten such a bad rep. Women, feminist or not, can’t stand the word and I used to be one of them. But, lately, I have been researching this word more than usual. And, I want to dedicate a blog to bust some of myths surrounding this forbidden word. Here are five common myths about the word “Submission”:
As stated in my previous blogs, I am a very independent female. I have done a lot of things in my life by myself and I take tremendous pride in that. In my teenage years, I would hear people at my church talk about submission and I hated it! I thought that submission equaled modern-day slavery. I thought it meant that the wife does what the husband says and he gets to lounge as she breaks her back. She cooks, cleans, watches the kids, and holds down a full-time job. While, he works all day and comes home to relax. Although some men do this, this is not the definition of submission. Submission has nothing to do with the roles that men and women play in their households. My parents have taught me this. The Bible does not say that the woman has to cook and the man handles the bills. Each home has it’s own “roles” that the husband and wife take up naturally. So, if the man cooks better and he enjoys it, he can cook. If the woman is better with money and enjoys handling the finances, she can do that. Don’t be confused. Submission doesn’t mean that you have to take up certain household tasks. And, no one should be a slave. The household tasks should be split as each person is comfortable with.
2. Submission means that you are less important.
Without a wife, there is no husband. Without a husband, there is no wife. No one person is more important than the other. Think about this. When Adam was created, God saw him and decided that he needed a partner. Someone that he could love. Someone that he could work together with. Someone that he could bounce ideas off of, talk to, procreate with, laugh with, etc. He needed Eve to fulfill his purpose. Just because he was created first doesn’t make him more important. That is like saying that every first-born child is more important than the other children to the parents. It’s the same thing with men and women. Society has confused us. Women have been overlooked and degraded for so many years that we, as a society, have begun to think that women are supposed to be treated as such. This isn’t true. And, it’s not the way God planned it either. Both sexes are equally important.
If this is true, count me out of marriage… lol! Ok. Seriously. This isn’t true either. I’m not sure how we read the Bible and get a totally different interpretation than what God was saying. But, we do it ALL the time. Submission does not mean that the wife has no say-so. This isn’t even realistic. Especially with the women of today. We don’t take easily to people (men or women) that tell us our opinion doesn’t matter. As wives, we can voice our opinion to both the husband and to God. As a matter of fact, God desires this. He tells us to make our requests known. If your husband is truly after the heart of God, he will want to know your opinions to. He will realize that your opinion is both valid and necessary. He will want to make sure that you are comfortable with the household decisions because he cares about you. If he doesn’t do this, don’t get mad at God because God doesn’t approve.
Nope. Nope. Nope. Another issue that our society has is being misinformed and doing nothing about it. So, do me a favor. Keep reading after the scripture I gave you. It says that husbands must love their wives just like Christ loved the church. To fully understand this, you must be able to fully understand how much Christ loved the church. Jesus Christ didn’t just walk around casting out devils, healing the sick, and checking Pharisees. He willingly laid down his own life for a world of people that would slay Him continuously. They literally beat Him, spit on Him, mocked Him, and banged nails into his flesh. He was aware that more people would hate Him than would love Him. He could’ve called a multitude of angels to rescue Him. Yet, He stayed on that cross. This is true love. This is the love that a man is supposed to display for his wife and family. So, no, he isn’t getting off easy. He has a huge pair of shoes to fill. He must be concerned about his wife before he even thinks about himself just like Christ. The Bible also says that husbands must love their wives as they love their own bodies. I could go on and on about that but, you can figure that out on your own. ;)
This is a myth too, people. Submission means that you surrender to the mission of your family. It’s not about who gets the credit or who’s in charge. Respect is one of the biggest needs a man has. Submission is about respecting your husband enough to let him lead the family, not dictate. This is done as he (as stated in #4) loves his wife as Christ loves the church. (And, excuse me. But, there seems to be nothing more attractive than a man that knows how to lead with confidence.) When you truly love your occupation, you don’t care if your boss gets the credit or not. You just do what you are supposed to do. And, if your boss is both ethical and grateful, he/she will give you the credit that you deserve. This is the same in marriage. You fulfill your role as a wife because you love your family. Not because you want credit. And, if your husband loves you and is grateful for you, he will give you the credit that you deserve.
I’m not writing this as someone that has experienced marriage. But, I am writing this as someone that is still learning about marriage and preparing myself for such an important role as a wife. I want to go into my marriage understanding the importance of submission, not wrestling with the idea of it. So, this blog is a lesson for me as well… I know how hard it is to wrap one's heart around a word that has been attached with such great negativity. But, sit down and think about it. Think about how important it is for a wife to yield to the mission of the family, support her man, and allow her man to feel respected. It doesn’t make you powerless. It makes you powerful. Remember, love isn’t a power struggle. It's about letting your guard down and letting someone care for you as you care for them.
“When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.” -Jim Hendrix
Spoken very well, Miss Brie
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